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Class OverviewWhat is Tantra and how do you bring sacred sex into the bedroom? Whether you’re single or partnered, learning basic Tantric principles can put new fire into lovemaking and intimacy. (Check out the Top 10 Big Ideas from the class below!) Your ProfessorLisa Schrader, the Founder of Awakening Shakti, has impacted the lives of thousands of people over the past 10 years as a sacred sexuality workshop leader, author, speaker and coach.How to Get Started with Tantra and Sacred SexWhat is Tantra and how do you bring sacred sex into the bedroom? Whether you’re single or partnered, learning basic Tantric principles can put new fire into lovemaking and intimacy. If you feel like something’s missing, or there must be something more, perhaps it’s a wake-up call to go deeper. Whether you are practicing solo or with a partner, here are my top 10 ideas on how to get started with Tantra. The Top 10 Big Ideas1Be Curious & Willing Let’s face it, most of us got very little, if any, education about sex. And the idea of sex being “sacred” might really be foreign, particularly if we were raised with cultural or religious imprinting that left us with shame, guilt and fear around our body. So first things first, we need to have compassion for our history and the sexual journey we’ve been on. Also know that anytime we venture into new, potentially expansive territory, the negative inner voice of the “gremlin” will start squawking. Simply notice, question your allegiance to that voice, and come back to being curious. Cultivate “beginner’s mind.” Maybe you are a great lover already but are you open to trying something new?2Reframe Pleasure One of the core principles of the Tantric teachings is that pleasure can be a gateway to God. Or course pleasure can also be a slippery slope.We’re looking for a “middle way” that honors of the potency of our sexual pleasure, neither repressing it as “bad” nor over-indulging in “good.” If we’re “grabbing” at pleasure as a way to meet our needs, avoid pain or make ourselves feel better, then it becomes our latest fix. Pleasure is who we BE not something to GET. In Tantric practice, pleasure naturally out flows from our wholeness, sourced from our inherent connection to divine goodness and love.3Invoke Spirit Think about it: your sexuality is the most powerful energy you have access to, the ability to create life itself. Most of us have only tasted the tiniest morsel of this infinite feast. So whether you call it an intention, prayer, or meditation, ask for guidance in knowing this bounty more fully. Before lovemaking, offer your gratitude to Spirit and ask for blessings on your loving. You can even dedicate your pleasure in service to some intention (and watch out for those orgasms which can pack a punch!). Consider creating an altar where you can place spiritual images or items meaningful to you.   4Create Sacred Space Lighting a single candle shifts the energy in the entire room. Treat your environment as a sanctuary for lovemaking. If you’re with a partner, enjoy preparing the space together as part of the journey. Get rid of clutter, paperwork, magazines, laundry and anything associated with work. There is nothing remotely attractive about a television screen or computer monitor so if you insist on having them in the room, throw a decorative cloth over them. Pay attention to creating a space that enlivens and pleases each of your senses. What kind of lighting, color, music, texture turns you on? Relaxes you? Remember to care for the temple of your body as well. Pay the same attention to bathing, grooming and preparing for your Tantra time as you would on a first date. 5Connect to the God & Goddess Within When we tumble into bed together, we usually bring our baggage about what did or didn’t happen last time, what he said that pissed you off this morning, or what you think she won’t follow through on tomorrow. If we’re single, we’re having the same sort of conversations inside our own head. But ecstasy only happens in the present moment so if we’re not here, we’re going to miss it. Practice spending at least five minutes sitting across from your partner in silence and come into the present moment with each other (or with yourself or a mirror if practicing alone). Softly gaze into their eyes and deepen your breath. Eventually, you will likely experience the personality subsiding and that spark of divinity, the god and goddess within, coming forward. You might see it in the eyes, feel it in your heart, or even hear it as a sacred hum. The more we practice connecting to the god and goddess in each other, the more we invite that aspect of ourselves into bed and the more sacred our lovemaking becomes. 6Heart First As you know, men and women are wired differently. Her sex center is often cooler and more passive whereas her heart center is warmer and more active. For men it’s typically the opposite. So if you want to warm her up sexually, meet her in the heart first so that that energy can melt down. Sharing five things that you appreciate about each other is a great way to express love and open the heart. We chronically under-appreciate each other (and ourselves) so this simple practice can be profound. Some Tantric teachings also consider the breasts to be the seat of a woman’s orgasm. By lovingly touching the breasts in the way that they want to be touched, a woman can relax and begin to send a signal to the rest of her body that it’s safe to open.   7Understand the Magnetics of Attraction We all have masculine and feminine energy within us regardless of our gender. When it comes to sexual attraction however, we’re a lot like magnets: we need a strong positive and negative pole in order to create passion. So one person has to enjoy surrendering and receiving (yin) while the other gives, initiates and directs (yang). Think of it as a spectrum with masculine energy on one end and feminine on the other. Notice where you find yourself. As a powerful business woman for example, your work may require a lot of your masculine energy during the day but at night, you long to let go and be ravished. If you want to attract that kind of energy from a masculine partner in the bedroom, you will need to find ways to invite your softer goddess power to shine. If you’re in a relationship where you’re both more comfortable in the middle, you will likely have strong compatibility and friendship but not a lot of sexual juice. The key to creating more passion lies in activating greater polarity. 8Come to Your Senses Living a life of greater sensuality means nourishing a deeper relationship with your senses. Do you surround yourself with beauty? What brings you pleasure to see, touch, taste, hear and smell? How can you activate your senses throughout the day and in lovemaking, opening more to the pleasure they bring? Unfortunately, we spend so much time up in our heads that we often disconnect from our body. The senses call us home and bring us into the present. 9Use Your Breath Breath seems so obvious and simple that we often overlook it but it is one of the most powerful tools in your Tantra kit. Use deep breathing practices to relax the body and quiet the busy mind. Use a more rapid, “fire breath” to generate energy and focus if you’re feeling distracted or tired. Harmonize your breath with a partner, breathing in unison or in a circular pattern (you inhale as they exhale and vice versa) to create intimacy and connection. As you begin to expand your orgasmic potential, breath is key in drawing the sexual energy out of the pelvis and up through the “inner flute” into other energy centers in the body. The breath allows us to spread that orgasmic energy which can usher in the bliss of full-body orgasms and expanded states of awareness. 10Release the Goal Orgasms are good for our health and contribute profoundly to our well-being on many levels but when we focus on The Big O as a goal, we miss out on much of the journey. For men, orgasm and ejaculation are typically collapsed but they are two different experiences that can be uncoupled. Men can learn how to enjoy orgasmic waves of bliss without ejaculating, enabling them to last longer and, many say, retain more of their life force power. For women there are many kinds of orgasms so if we’re always rushing to achieve clitoral climax, we may be missing out on the full range of our sexual potential. As part of your Tantra exploration, set aside lovemaking time where you take the goal of orgasm off the agenda altogether. If it naturally occurs that’s fine, just don’t make it the key event. I think you’ll be amazed at the new world that can open up when you stay present with the pleasure in this moment rather than striving for some imagined future big bang. Relax into it and allow it to find you. Delicious! The path of Tantra is about SO much more than sexuality and coming up with a Top 10 list from this 5,000 year old tradition is challenging. However, I return to these principles and practices over and over again as both a student and a teacher so I know they will serve you well. Blessings on your loving!