Description

This sensible self-help book draws on family-systems therapy in  recommending thoughtful “self-focus” for women stuck in difficult  relationships with either mates or families. Emphasizing that “a truly  intimate relationship is one in which we can be who we are, which means  being open about ourselves,” Lerner ( The Dance of Anger ; Women in  Therapy ) highlights the importance of women defining themselves, their  needs and limits, rather than reacting to anxiety unthinkingly–either  by emotionally distancing themselves from problems or by overreacting. A  staff psychologist and psychotherapist at the Menninger Clinic, Lerner  illustrates her points with case studies from her family as well as her  practice. To explore what unhelpful patterns of behavior may be passed  down from past generations, she advises creating a genogram, or family  diagram, going back to a person’s grandparents or earlier. Lerner’s book  presumes at least an acquaintance with professional jargon but should  be accessible to most readers of pop psychology.