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Why can’t you be more grateful? It’s likely at some point you’ve heard this remark from a parent, grandparent or have even uttered these words to a child yourself. (Or even worse, a partner!)Our need to see gratitude in others is a huge part of us seeing that person also as a loving, caring person.Having gratitude helps us to enjoy life more. It can break through huge barriers and reduce our stress loads, give us more confidence and help us to meet our goals- no matter how big they may be.There is no doubt that being grateful goes a long way. It’s just how to be grateful in times of stress or when suffering from disappointment or sadness that’s difficult.Often we get caught up in a vicious cycle of if-onlys. If only the job came through, then weld be grateful, if only the kids were better behaved, then we’d say thanks, if only I could lose that extra ten pounds, get that guy to notice me, find a million dollars under my pillow – if only, if only, if only …The problem with if only is that if and when the if only happens, we often just move onto the next thing we want to get without stopping to say thanks. Or we focus so much on that hopeful if only, we forget to recognize all the other things we have in our lives to be thankful for.So let’s start with the basics – right here, right now. There is so much each of us has to be grateful for. We just often forget to focus on the good bits.