Description

PERSONAL NOTE:Relationships can be hard i know and are not covered in detail by many PUGs.OFFICIAL DEscriptION:Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr.Julie Schwartz Gottman, are the world’s foremost researchers in understanding relationships. They invite couples to come into their research laboratory and talk and argue about topics of their choice. They wire the couples up to sensory data machines and analyze the videotapes frame by frame to understand the complexities of human interaction. Gottman follows the couples long term to see who stays together. He can predict which couples will stay together after nine years with 90% accuracy after hearing just three minutes of their arguments!Gottman found that there are basic verbal reactions that bond people together and cement relationships. He has identified the emotional command systems that people use to try to gain attention and love. He calls this the bidding process.Positive bids are words, questions, gestures, looks, and ways of touching that reach out to the partner to say, ” I want to be closer to you.” The emotional needs that are met by bids includes (1.) to be included, (2.) to have a sense of control over their life and (3.) to be liked.Quote:Editorial Reviews”John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again. This book shows how the simplest, nearly invisible gestures of care and attention hold the key to successful relationships with those we love and work with.”– William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart”This is the best book on relationships I have ever read — a truly impressive tour-de-force. John Gottman has discovered the Rosetta Stone of relationships. He has decoded the subtle secrets contained in our moment-to-moment communications. By introducing the simple yet amazingly powerful concept of the “bid,” he provides a remarkable set of tools for relationship repair. By the middle of the second chapter you’re likely to say to yourself, “Oh, so that’s what’s happening in my relationship with my partner (or colleague, boss, or sister), and now I know what to do about it.”– Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D.,author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship”The Relationship Cure is another in John Gottman’s superb series of books on improving intimate relationships. What distinguishes Gottman’s writing from that of other self-help books is that it is based on research findings from his extensive studies. When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.”– E. Mavis Hetherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia”The Relationship Cure is both profound and practical, based on decades of research and clinical experience. The rich array of self-exploration exercises and guidelines offers a life-changing program for creating more rewarding emotional connections with friends, colleagues, and life partners.”– Shirley P. Glass, ABPP, author of Treating the Trauma of Infidelity”The Relationship Cure is engaging and imaginative. The deceptively simple but powerful concept of the ’emotional bid’ reveals ways in which we can connect with significant others in our lives.”– Andrew Christensen, Ph.D., coauthor of Reconcilable Differences”I always expect to learn something from John Gottman, and I have never been disappointed. The Relationship Cure is original, insightful, and immensely helpful. I love the concept of emotional bids. Gottman not only helps the reader recognize how he or she may be short circuiting connection and communication, he gives them very good practical advice, as well as examples of wrong and right ways to deal with even the most aggressive or passive partner interaction.”– Pepper Schwartz, Profesor of Sociology, the University of Washington, Seattle and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong