Description

Class OverviewThere is a paradigm shift taking place in our understanding of babies, children, human development and parenting. Let’s take a look at what is causing this leap forward and how to harness it’s power. (Check out the Top 10 Big Ideas from the class below!) Your ProfessorCarrie Contey, PhD co-founded the Slow Family Living movement. Her scholarly and hands-on research gave birth to CALMS: A Guide to Soothing Your Baby & What Babies Want: Calming and Communicating With Your Baby.How to Parent the Developing BrainThere is an evolutionary transformation, a paradigm shift, taking place in our understanding of babies, children, human development and parenting. The research conducted and proven over the last 30 years in the fields of prenatal and perinatal psychology and interpersonal neuroscience continue to profoundly change the ways in which we can best understand and care for our growing people. So let’s roll up our sleeves and take a look at what is causing this leap forward in what we know about human development and parenting. The Top 10 Big Ideas1The Big Being in a Little Body In order to understand the practicals of parenting from this new perspective, I will frame the shift by describing the “old” paradigm versus the “new” paradigm.2You Help Them Wire Their Brain Even though newborn humans arrive at birth aware and conscious, only 20% of their brain cells or neurons are wired. This is just enough to allow them to recognize and communicate non-verbally whether they feel safe or not safe. Throughout life, and especially in early life, humans tune in to their physical and emotional environment. The way they are cared for informs what gets wired and how they unfold into expressing themselves throughout life.3Understanding the Brain and How it Develops Our brains are wired, first and foremost, to help us survive. Plain and simple. Beyond that the brain is responsible for creating connections and emotional expressions. And beyond that, the brain focuses on language, rational thought, creative endeavors, etc.  All of these facets of the brain are instrumental in facilitating our experiences and interactions with this big wide world. For parenting purposes, it’s important to understand the three different parts of the brain and how they are operating.4The Reptile Brain The brain stem is the only part of the brain that is wired at birth. It is also known as the reptile brain. This part of the brain is 100% responsible for survival. There’s no language or need for connection in this part of the brain. Moment to moment, 24 hours a day it is constantly scanning the internal and external environments to know “Am I safe or not safe?” Our reptile brains keep us alive and it’s the part of our brain that is charge when we are stressed and overwhelmed. 5The Mammal Brain At six weeks after birth, the mammal brain starts to wire. This is what we call the limbic system. It’s all about emotions, connection, feeling understood, seen and valued. This part of the brain allows for a little person to create an attachment to his or her caregivers. This is the relational, non-verbal part of our brain.6The Human Brain Around one year of age, the human brain or neocortex starts to wire. This allows for verbal language, rational thought, creative expressions like music and art and more! This is the fun part. And it’s important to know that it’s not always in operation.7Parenting the Different Brains The emotions and behaviors your little people express are a direct reflection of which brain they are in. When you understand how to read their brain state you will become a masterfully connected parent. And when you are connected it’s easier for family life to hum along.8Massive Growth Yields Whacky Behavior and Big Meltdowns Because of all of the growth and neurological wiring that takes place in early life, little growing people are very prone to slipping in their brains. And when they slip they are vulnerable to expressing challenging and unsavory behavior and big emotional meltdowns. There are ways of being with your growing people in the midst of these emotional storms that are compassionate, boundaried and effective.9You Are the Regulator Because the little ones do not come pre-wired, they are not able to manage the emotional ups and downs of life, especially while they are in major spurts of development. They are depending on you to help them stay regulated. They are plugged into your brain and nervous system. When you realize this, it becomes clear that your well-being is paramount to their states of being. 10You First Because they are plugged into you, because you are the regulator, because they are wiring in relation to how you feel and the brain state YOU are in, it’s essential to make your self-care and emotional well-being your highest priority. As they say on the airplane, “put your oxygen mask on first and then help the children.” Pure wisdom and totally true when it comes to caring for little growing humans.