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**** elib.tech Exclusive ****Help us keep elib all the more special for its exclusivity.Out of respect for the original authors and publishers,please do not make this product available outside of our community. Thanks for keeping elib awesome!This exclusive material brought to you by the participants of the Passionate Marriage GBThis GB is CLOSEDDr. David Schnarch (Crucible Publishing) – Passionate Marriage: Audio Bundles 1-5Website: HereDescription:Audio MP3 Download Bundle 1Normal Marital Sadism: Dealing with Normal Marital SadismHostile relationships can be salvaged by addressing mean vindictive things partners often do to each other. By dealing with sexual and non-sexual Normal Marital Sadism (NMS), couples on the brink of divorce get a new chance to stay together. NMS is emotional fusion and borrowed functioning wherein you feel entitled to frustrate and torture your mate. Normal Marital Sadism involves tearing your partner’s heart apart by being humiliating and demeaning, lying to inflict pain, restricting his/her autonomy, and manipulating to establish compliance and dominance. NMS often involves stealing your partner’s choice by procrastinating or withholding. We learn how to deliberately frustrate him/her while seeming to respond to a request. Lousy sex may be born in ignorance, but it is perfected in marriage. Poorly differentiated people are more likely to engage in NMS, less likely to acknowledge it, and have more need to address it more directly. Handled properly, dealing with Normal Marital Sadism can create intimacy, enhance differentiation, and expand your capacity to love. This requires a no-nonsense direct differentiation-based approach, because only the best in you can to deal can deal with the worst in you. Contains in-depth illustrative case examples.Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love & Intimacy Alive in Committed RelationshipsIn this presentation before a public audience, Dr. David Schnarch offers a fresh look at his revolutionary book, Passionate Marriage. Starting with specific tips for enhancing sex and intimacy, he builds a new vision of how intimate relationships work and explains what is actually required to move through couples’ most stubborn difficulties. Lively and engaging, this audio experience offers both a light-hearted look and a serious appraisal of how partners often bog down, or break up, or simply become emotionally alienated and bored. This insight-filled presentation is at various times heartwarming and uplifting, poignant and inspiring, often humorous and (sometimes) outrageous. Join this celebration of the wondrous nature of love relationships. Preventing Divorce: Turning Marital Problems into Passionate MarriageSex is a system. Couples create systemic dynamics around their sexual preferences that push them to differentiate (grow sexually and emotionally), become more sexual compatible, and capable of profound intimacy and intense eroticism. This is often mistaken for sexual incompatibility, irreconcilable difference and falling out of love. Sexual boredom and conflicts over sexual preferences are natural and inevitable developments of how differentiation permeates love relationships. Sexual boredom and “sexual incompatibility” arise from the way sex relationships work: We channel our sexual expression into patterns and meanings we know how to use. Using a sexual style we haven’t developed creates anxiety. Emotional gridlock is inevitable over whose anxiety, limitations and sexual preferences will control the relationship. Your differentiation has to keep pace with your spouse’s growing importance, if you want to keep intimacy and sexual desire alive. The solution to sexual boredom isn’t new sexual behaviors; it’s broadening the vocabulary of emotions and meanings you can express through sex. Differentiation plays out through two phases in relationships: the comfort/safety cycle (where you feel secure) and the growth cycle (where you feel anxious). A healthy marriage requires balancing growth and comfort. The growth cycle promotes long-term relationship stability, while clinging to the comfort/safety cycle does the opposite. Knowing what to expect helps you turn predictable conflicts over sexual boredom and sexual preferences into powerful pathways to personal growth (differentiation), sexual desire, and the strength to love.Audio MP3 Download Bundle 2Integrating Sex and SpiritualityPeople everywhere are eager to reconcile their spirituality with their sexuality. Many have grown up in cultures where superficial acceptance of sex has masked an abiding suspicion of desire, and prudery often masquerades as piety. As adults, many of us seek a sex-positive spirituality and self-transcending sexuality. Dr. Schnarch shows how Life’s crucibles can make us capable of both the profound sexual desire and the mature spirituality we seek. Integrating Sexuality and Spirituality is positive, practical and uplifting. It is a heartfelt invitation to explore your own sense of spiritual connection. This 48 minute keynote address was delivered at the 1995 British Columbia AIDS Conference. It honors the memory of Ted Urban, Dr. Schnarch’s close friend for over 30 years who died of AIDS, offered in remembrance of his kindness and friendship.Resurrecting Sex: Bringing Sexual Relationships Back To LifeResearch suggests half the people you meet each day probably have sexual dysfunctions. Women have difficulty with arousal, pain, lubrication and orgasms; men have similar difficulty with erections and rapid and delayed orgasm. Normal people have sexual problems. Normal sexual relationships often need resurrection. The Crucible® Approach offers a holistic framework for resolving sexual problems, including a unique model of human sexual response (the Quantum Model), and ways of figure out what’s causing your problem and what to do about it (the Four Quadrants of Problem Causation). They explain how your sexual response depends on your physical responsiveness, physical stimulation, emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and what’s happening in your relationship. Poorly differentiated people are more prone to sexual dysfunctions. There’s more to resurrecting sex than just resolving sexual dysfunctions. You have to resolve the emotional gridlock and hard feelings that usually accompany them. The solutions offered here not only resolve sexual dysfunctions, they increase your differentiation, which reduces the likelihood of having dysfunctions in the future. Contains illustrative case examples.Running time: 2 hoursSexual stylesThis presentation discusses the wide range of meanings and related behaviors that make our sexuality quintessentially human. Dr. Schnarch explores three different modes of sexual experience, each having a different style of interaction and different meaning. He shows how each one—and all three together—can allow profound depth of involvement. Partners’ differences in personal sexual style can be divisive, or, they can lead deeper into sharing of who we each are. They provide ways to enhance your personal development (differentiation), required to tolerate the novelty and intimacy we all desire.Audio MP3 Download Bundle 3Becoming an Adult Puts Passion in Your MarriageAs sex-enhancing drugs like Viagra become common fare, many people wonder if sexual satisfaction can be found in a prescription bottle. Dr. Schnarch discusses the benefits and limitations of sexual pharmacology, including potential negative relationship impacts. He shows how the natural difficult processes underlying relationship development cannot be avoided, and how they can move partners to a place of greater intimacy and maturity. This entertaining and thought-provoking presentation offers an uplifting look at adult development and intimate relationships, focusing on things that determine couples’ progress towards long-term marital happiness and sexual satisfaction. This presentation was originally delivered as a keynote address at the 1998 Erickson “Couples and Intimacy Conference”. Growing in Marriage: Rekindling DesireThis presentation expands on one of Dr. Schnarch’s basic notions: No one is ready for marriage; marriage itself gets you ready for marriage. Often humorous and always engaging, Dr. Schnarch discusses the “people-growing mechanisms” in emotionally committed relationships, highlighting common beliefs we need to move beyond to achieve the richness possible in our relationships. Topics include dealing with partner’s differning levels of desire; reaching your sexual potential; eyes open sex; and having the strength to love deeply. This presentation is from the 1996 International Marriage Enrichment Conference. Sexual Desire Problems: Who Wants to Want?Approaching sexual desire as biological drive and tension- reduction behavior precludes developing the desire and passion you want: consciously chosen freely undertaken desire. The notion of developing desire never arises, if you approach sexual desire as a drive you try to satiate. Developing desire requires personal growth; biological drives don’t require maturity.The Crucible® Approach offers an alternative view of sexual desire, and specific ways to deal with desire problems that enhance differentiation. It shifts your focus to desire during sex (passion), and desire for your partner, rather than utilitarian desire (i.e., enough to get started). Natural systemic processes of marriage create low desire. Developing and maintaining desire is a function of personal development (differentiation), which permits intense desire without fear of losing yourself. Desire as wanting and wanting makes you vulnerable, because there are no guarantees your wants will be satisfied. Poorly differentiated people don’t wants to want, although they need to be wanted. Choosing your partner makes you vulnerable and conveys special standing in your life. Openly enjoying pleasure often feels like tempting fate (and your partner) to withhold. Loss and death are inherent in desire. It isn’t safe to really want until you can soothe your own fears and heartaches. Expanding sexual desire involves increased differentiation, and shifting from desire out of emptiness (horniness, loneliness, insecurity) to desire out of fullness (self-acceptance, self-soothing, self-direction). Desire changes you. Desire can be transformative, erotic, ecstatic, and a pathway to spirituality.Audio MP3 Download Bundle 4Crucible Therapy: Integrating Marital & Sex TherapyBecause sex therapy and marital therapy developed independently of each other, conventional sex therapy cannot cope with couples systemic issues, and marital therapy offers solutions antithetical to the way sex really works. Adding couples issues to sex therapy works no better than addressing sexual issues from within marital therapy approaches. In contrast, Crucible® Therapy is a fundamental integration of sexuality, personal development, and relationship dynamics based on differentiation. Whereas many marital therapy approaches struggle to cope with the realities of anxiety in sexual relationships, differentiation-based Crucible Therapy lines up with the natural dynamcis of sex in love relationships. Recorded at 1994 Menninger Foundation Conference. Crucible Therapy: Paradigm Shift in Marital & Sex Therapy(Presentation for mental health professionals by Dr. David Schnarch.) Reversing sexual problems and their aftermath involves more than communication, information, and behavior modification. Resurrecting sex involves dealing with emotional gridlock and enhancing differentiation. This presentation explains the Crucible® paradigm. Crucible® Therapy rejected Masters & Johnson’s “sex as natural function,” and led sexology’s shift from curing dysfunctions to promoting sexual health. Crucible Therapy is the first differentiation-based sexual-marital therapy, a complete paradigm-shift in theory and practice. Its revolutionary way of resolving sexual boredom enhances people’s differentiation and capacity to love. Crucible Therapy harnesses the natural systemic processes of sex and differentiation to help people grow, and explore their sexual potential through activities like eyes-open sex and orgasms. Crucible Therapy: Talking to the Best in PeopleAre some couples too fragile for Crucible Therapy? Do they need attachment-based therapy first? Approaches that focus on people’s anxieties and insecurities encourage fragility. Talking to the best in people allows them to face difficult truths and change their lives. Crucible Therapy speaks to the best in people because it’s central to the approach: Find what people hold dear, notice when the best in them stands up, and address issues of personal integrity in their presenting problem. In-depth case examples illustrate this method.Audio MP3 Download Bundle 5Clinical Realities: The Therapist’s CrucibleTherapy totally depends on the therapist’s own differentiation. It shapes how therapists handle affairs, divorce, sexual problems, and fears of clients “falling apart.” Differentiation dramatically impacts therapist-client relations. In metallurgy, crises, and therapy, “crucibles” promote metamorphic change. Therapists, like metal crucibles, differ in “melting point.” This is crucial because people enter treatment to reduce the heat in their relationship. As couples approach anxiety-laden issues, they often feel therapy is making them ““worse’’—creating more anxiety for therapist. Therapists have to buffer lots of anxiety from patients, some of which is deliberately precipitated by the therapist.Maybe It’s Love, But Is It Therapy?Non-Traditional Uses of Masturbation in Sex & Marital Therapy