Description

Book DescriptionRelease Date: February 10, 1997The number one bestselling author of Ask Barbara, Are You the One for Me, and other groundbreaking relationship books rewrites the rules in this extraordinary book.Amazon review:5.0 out of 5 stars Genuine and Sensible June 16, 2005By VeronicaThe Real Rules is an empowering and inspirational book. The writing style is friendly and insightful and the tips are very useful and easy to follow. This book tries to undo the brainwashing that has led some women to hide their true selves in order to attract a man, for example, acting `light and breezy’ on dates, always ending phone calls first and becoming busy and mysterious when you want him to propose… This book does not cater to women who are obsessed with their Big Day or who exhibit `Princess’ behaviour; instead it focuses on kind-hearted, decent women who only want a man if he is right for them.Rules given are honest and refreshing. They include `Be Yourself’, `Treat People the Way You Want Them To Treat You’, and `Ask Questions Before You Get Involved’. I especially liked the section on the six important character traits to look for in a man (and cultivate in yourself) such as high self-esteem and integrity. The Real Rules are all about having faith in your ability to know what the appropriate way to behave in a relationship is. For example, most women know how many times they should call a new boyfriend without going overboard and therefore there is no need to follow restrictive rules that only make you obsess about whether you are `doing the right thing’ or not.Barbara makes a great point that if you offend a man by being honest about your beliefs or hobbies then he clearly wasn’t The One in the first place, so why obsess about making him like you? If you are right for each other then games are not necessary. Simple as that. This book is certainly not about letting it all `hang out’. Barbara is not encouraging women to turn up on dates as emotional wrecks or ball-busters and expect men to `love them as they are’. She encourages women to develop some real confidence and self-esteem and become the best they can be.The only thing I think people should be careful about is asking too many personal questions early on. Barbara provides a useful list of seven areas that let you know whether a man is right for you, such as `ethics, values, morals’, `past love relationships’, `family background’, `personal goals’ and so on. While I believe it is important to find out about these things, some of them should not be discussed in the early stages of a relationship. It’s better to wait until these topics arise naturally and it feels comfortable to share personal information. In the beginning, you can often work out someone’s general beliefs and attitudes by how they behave without having to ask them outright and this is fine until you both feel comfortable with sharing private stuff.Overall The Real Rules is a sensible and fun dating guide that you can customize to suit yourself. Whilst other dating guides assume that all men are immature and will `use and abuse’ you if you give them half a chance, the Real Rules actually talks about women and men as mature, responsible equals. Highly recommended for both men and women, but especially women who want to remain true to themselves in dating and not compromise their dignity.JoAnne