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This book has an interesting perspective on the human feeling called love, and the reasons why people fall in love. Of course at the end of the day its a perspective, and even if it is backed up with scientific research, tests..etc in my mind love is a subjective matter, and it’s very hard to make generalities about such a topic. If you want to get answers to some of your questions, regarding human relationships, and interactions, this book will definitely give you interesting facts. From Publishers WeeklyDon’t be fooled by the frothy pink jacket art: this is a dense, academic volume. It addresses every conceivable aspect of the psychology of mate selection in late 20th-century America, giving equal emphasis to social and clinical approaches to understanding romance. The book’s first half is devoted to an ambitious and inclusive survey of the experimental literature on the general factors that influence attractionAfor example, similarity, geographical proximity, physical beauty and social status. The second half underscores the relevance of early childhood experiences with and between one’s parents in understanding one’s attraction to specific persons. Recent clinical theories suggest that we are attracted to persons who are in some critical way similar to our parents and who have the potential to directly stimulate, and thus heal, old childhood wounds. Pines also offers advice to those seeking love. But she does a far better job of educating readers than advising them. Although founded in scientific evidence, her suggestions are brief and simplistic (“try to be in a good mood when you meet new people”) and appear to have been tacked on to the end of each chapter simply to appeal to the self-help reader. Though Pine is at her best when laying out complex theoriesAaccurately referring to the original research studies on which her assertions and conclusions are basedAand the material is intellectually stimulating, reading it feels like work. Ten-city tour. (Sept.)Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.From Kirkus ReviewsA couples therapists clinical look at how and why we fall in love removes some of the mystery from that most magical of human experiences. Pines (Romantic Jealousy, 1992; Keeping the Spark Alive, 1988), a social psychologist and researcher who is also a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship issues, tackles her subject from both perspectives. As a social psychologist and researcher she analyzes how we fall in love; her clinical experience and psychodynamic theories come into play in the exploration of why we choose a particular person. She draws extensively on three studies: interviews with 100 men and women about their romantic relationships; a cross-cultural study comparing American and Israeli accounts of falling in love; and interviews with 100 couples comparing their reasons for falling in love with later stress in their relationship. Pines describes falling in love as a staged process. First is geographic proximity; then a state of emotional arousal; awareness of the others appealing appearance and personality; discovery of similarities; and finally, with growing intimacy, the revelation of deeper psychological needs and the mutual ability to satisfy them. Gender differences and the evolutionary, social, and psychoanalytic theories that seek to explain them are also examined. As to why we fall in love with a particular person, Pines looks at various psychological theories and concludes that an internal romantic image plays a key role in whom we choose and that childhood experiences of love shape this image. Interviews with four individuals reveal how early relationships with parents affected subsequent romantic ones; Steve, for instance, was abandoned by his father and terrified of the live-in boyfriends of his cruel and demanding mother. He fell in love with a domineering woman and found the relationship exciting but scary, and he remains unattached. Not a how-to guide for the lovelorn but a serious, research-oriented work of special interest to those involved in couples therapy. (11 b&w photos) (Author tour) — Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.Review”…she provides a trenchant analysis of this most exciting, most significant experience without once diminishing its ‘divine madness’.” — Foreword, October 1999″If you expect no definitive answers on either the conscious or unconscious nature of falling in love and making it work, if you are looking for a plausible excuse to examine the intimate relationships of those around you and, perhaps, your own, if you’re interested in relationships in the abstract, whether ‘true’ in its conclusions or not, FALLING IN LOVE is a fascinating book on an ever engrossing topic.” — Isadora Alman, San Francisco Bay Guardian, October 27, 1999″What I like about her approach is it reminds us to ‘shine the flashlight’ more on ourselves than point fingers at partners when relationships fail. Knowing yourself and why you have certain attractions can prevent you from making the same mistakes, she says. That’s a vast simplicification of a complex theory outlined in detail in her book, but it does make sense, not to mention interesting reading.” — Tennessean, November 7, 1999…addresses every conceivable aspect of the psychology of mate selection in late 20th century America. . . . Pines is at her best when laying out complex theories — accurately referring to the original research studies on which her assertions and conclusions are based — and the material is intellectually stimulating.–Publishers Weekly…she provides a trenchant analysis of this most exciting, most significant experience without once diminishing its ‘divine madness’.–Foreword, October 1999Ayala Pines takes aim and sends her Cupids arrow straight at us with this brilliant work, and we cannot help but fall in love with it and what it teaches us about love in our lives. Both a clinical tour de force and a rich practical guide. – Dale Larson, Ph.D., author of The Helpers Journey and Associate Professor and Director at the Counseling Psychology Program, Santa Clara University, USAA couples therapists clinical look at how and why we fall in love removes some of the mystery from that most magical of human experiences…Not a how-to guide for the lovelorn but a serious, research-oriented work of special interest to those involved in couples therapy. – Kirkus ReviewsIf you expect no definitive answers on either the conscious or unconscious nature of falling in love and making it work, if you are looking for a plausible excuse to examine the intimate relationships of those around you and, perhaps, your own, if youre interested in relationships in the abstract, whether true in its conclusions or not, FALLING IN LOVE is a fascinating book on an ever engrossing topic. – Isadora Alman, San Francisco Bay GuardianA couples’ therapist’s clinical look at how and why we fall in love removes some of the mystery from that most magical of human experiences…Not a how-to guide for the lovelorn but a serious, research-oriented work of special interest to those involved in couples’ therapy.–Kirkus ReviewsIf you expect no definitive answers on either the conscious or unconscious nature of falling in love and making it work, if you are looking for a plausible excuse to examine the intimate relationships of those around you and, perhaps, your own, if you’re interested in relationships in the abstract, whether ‘true’ in its conclusions or not, FALLING IN LOVE is a fascinating book on an ever engrossing topic.–Isadora Alman, San Francisco Bay Guardian, October 27, 1999What I like about her approach is it reminds us to ‘shine the flashlight’ more on ourselves than point fingers at partners when relationships fail. Knowing yourself and why you have certain attractions can prevent you from making the same mistakes, she says. That’s a vast simplicification of a complex theory outlined in detail in her book, but it does make sense, not to mention interesting reading.–Tennessean, November 7, 1999Product DescriptionFalling in Love is the first book to unlock the mysteries of how and why we fall in love. Renowned psychologist Ayala Pines shows us why we fall for the people we do, and argues convincingly that we love neither by chance nor by accident. She offers sound advice for making the right choices when it comes to this complicated emotion. Packed with helpful suggestions for those seeking love and those already in it, this book is about love’s many puzzles.The second edition furthers the work of the popular and successful first edition. With expanded research, theory, and practice, this book once again provides one of a kind understandings of the experience of love. The new edition offers updated references to recent research, new chapter exercises, and “case examples” of romantic stories to begin each chapter.About the AuthorProfessor Ayala Malach Pines is on the faculty of the School of Management at Ben Gurion University in Israel and a clinical psychologist specializing in work with couples in both Israel and California where she lived for many years. She is the author of ten books, including Couple Burnout: Causes and Cures (1996) and Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures (1998), both published by Routledge, as well as twenty book chapters and close to sixty research articles. Professor Pines has presented her work at many international conferences and in the popular media.