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Class OverviewOld-school philosophers to modern-day scientists tell us that being able to put our attention where we want when we want is one of THE keys to optimal living. Let’s get our minds right. (Check out the Top 10 Big Ideas from the class below!) Your Professor50% Philosopher + 50% CEO. Brian is 100% committed to helping people optimize their lives so we can change the world together. He created en*theos + PhilosophersNotes + Optimal Living 101 + Zaadz + eteamz.How to Get Your Mind Right“Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. Soak it then in such trains of thoughts as, for example: Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible.” – Marcus Aurelius Optimism. It’s huge. In fact, everyone from old-school philosophers to modern-day scientists tell us that being able to put our attention where we want when we want is one of THE keys to optimal living. Before we jump into my Top 10 Big Ideas on how to get your mind right, let’s get a handle on what optimism isn’t! == What Optimism Isn’t  == 1. ANTs, Teflon & Velcro. Researchers like to say that we have “automatic negative thoughts.” They call them ANTs for short. (Apparently we have 60,000 thoughts/day. 95% of them are the same as yesterday. 80% of them are negative. That’s 45,000 ANTs/day!! Yikes.) Unfortunately, our brains evolved to be “Velcro” for the negative stuff and “Teflon” for the good stuff. It was helpful for our survival but now? Not so much. We need to use some organic “ANT spray” on the automatic negative thoughts and create some automatic positive thoughts instead.    “Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think.”  – Buddha 2. Monkeys & Cars –> Monkeys. Eastern philosophers like to say that when we’re stressed, it’s as if we have little out of control monkeys in our minds swinging from thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to endless looping thought. When we’re really stressed, it’s as if the monkeys are drunk! And they’re a little crazy! And they act like they just got stung by a scorpion! Yowsers. Know this: a) it’s normal + b) you can do something about it. –> Cars. In Sanskrit, the word dukkha means suffering. It comes from two little words that describe a wheel that isn’t spinning properly. Imagine driving a sweet car with a wheel that won’t spin. You’re going to have problems. That’s EXACTLY what happens when our MINDS get stuck on a certain problem. We screech to a halt and suffer. Another way to look at it: Imagine having that sweet car with 4 good wheels but, unfortunately, you’re stuck in 1st gear. Or 5th gear. Or reverse. D’oh. Same thing. We suffer when we’re stuck!! 3. Learned Helplessness vs. Learned Optimism. Martin Seligman, the godfather of the Positive Psychology movement and resident genius of the University of Pennsylvania, studied helplessness. Fascinating research. He could expose dogs (and people!) to shocks and create “helplessness.” But he noticed that some people NEVER dropped into helplessness. They were optimistic. We need to learn what they do. Helpful Distinctions:   Victim vs. Creator. There are basically two ways we can orient to the world: as a victim or as a creator. Scientists call this an “external locus of control” vs. an “internal locus of control.” It’s *really* important that we know that we always have the ability to choose an empowered response—that we have an internal locus of control and that our happiness is not determined by things that happen to us (external) but by how we choose to respond to those events (internal). Growth vs. Fixed Mindset. Quit trying to “prove” yourself and have fun “improving” yourself! Celebrate the effort you put in and let go of the results! Time to Hit the Optimism Gym. First thing we need to know: Scientists tell us that even if we’re currently a little more cranky and pessimistic than we’d like, we CAN become more optimistic. How? We build our optimism the same way we build our muscles: Via consistent training! So, let’s hit the optimism gym. The Top 10 Big Ideas1Meditate! The most powerful way to train your attention?   Meditation. Period.  It’s like going to the gym for your mind. Even if it’s just for a minute a day, PRACTICE! It’s fun. 12-15 and you just might start altering your DNA! (Check out my class on How to Meditate without Moving to the Himalayas for more goodness here.)2Exercise, Eat Well and Rest. We’re going to have a hard time getting our minds right if our *bodies* are all out of whack. So, let’s exercise, eat well and rest. Exercise: Tal Ben-Shahar tells us that *not* exercising is like taking a depressant. Yikes. John Ratey tells us that exercising is like taking a little bit of Ritalin and a little bit of Prozac–focusing our minds and boosting our mood. Yay! (Also: exercise has been scientifically proven to be as effective as Zoloft in reducing depression. Bam.) Nutrition: Did you know your gut produces as much serotonin as your brain? Yep. All the caffeine, alcohol, sugar and junk food isn’t helping out the cause. Solution? More whole foods. Less refined foods. Rest: Are you aligned with circadian rhythms and getting enough rest? Lack of sleep is a *great* way to destroy our mental health. Key: Turn off the computer + TV and get to bed early like our great-grandparents did. Your mind will thank you.3Be Grateful. Gratitude is scientifically proven to be one of the easiest and most effective ways to significantly and sustainably boost our happiness.Stanford-trained Ph.D. Sonja Lyubomirsky can bring peeps into her lab and split them into two groups: One group keeps track of things they’re grateful for once a week for six weeks. The other group just writes down random stuff. 6 weeks later, guess who’s happier? The grateful group. By 25%!!! What what? Yes. It’s true. Something as simple as jotting down 5 things you’re grateful for once a week can boost your happiness levels by 25%. Kinda makes you want to keep track of awesome things, eh? We can practice this throughout the day by engaging in what the guys who wrote The Tools (phenomenal book!) call “grateful flow.” Anytime you’re feeling your inner Crankysaurus Rex rearing its head, step back and imagine all the amazing things you’re grateful for. That’s grateful flow. It’s awesome.4Choose an Empowered Response. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms— to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor FranklWe’re always interpreting the world. We can choose more or less empowered ways to see life. As we just discussed, the key to happiness is gaining more control over your responses. Stepping in between stimulus and response. Here’s a fun game: Something stressful happens. Now, notice that you’re feeling a little edgy and see if you can STOP. Not respond in a habitual negative way but CHOOSE a more empowered response. See the Silver Lining. Scientists agree with the old adage that every cloud has a silver lining. The fact is, the sun is always shining behind every cloud. There’s *always* a silver lining to any challenge we might be facing. We just need to look for it! 10 out of 10 philosophers + psychologists agree: Making this a regular practice is a very (!) wise idea.5Bouncers & Attorneys. “The Master said, If out of the three hundred songs I had to take one phrase to cover all my teachings, I would say ‘Let there be no evil in your thoughts.’”  – ConfuciusAttorneys. Imagine two attorneys in your mind: one arguing for all your limitations, the other arguing on behalf of all your awesomeness. Which attorney will win? Whichever one you pay the most! (You pay them by the amount of attention you give them.) Bouncers. Give that attorney some extra support by hiring a bouncer for your mind. Only thoughts on the invite list get in. Bad thoughts? They’re kept out. Bam!One practical way to do that: cognitive therapists say: Write down your negative thoughts and challenge them!6The Equanimity Game. “When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self- control, and do not remain out of tune longer than you can help. Habitual recurrence to the harmony will increase your mastery of it.” – Marcus AureliusRemember that old Emperor guy in the movie Gladiator? That was Marcus Aurelius. (Gotta love Emperor-Philosophers, eh?)Aurelius faced a lot of challenges. His peeps would often die from pestilence, get attacked by barbarians, that sort of thing.He liked to play a game with himself. Any time he found himself off balance, he’d see how fast he could get back on balance and maintain his equaniminity (favorite word: it comes from the Latin “balanced” + “mind”). Next time you get off balance, see how fast you can get back on balance. Make it a game!7You vs. The Size of Your Problems. Do you have a really big problem in your life? Well, hate to break it to you but that likely means that you’re being a really small person! :0 We want to have fun noticing when we’re being ant-sized people and letting little molehills look like mountains. The key to dealing with bigger and bigger challenges with grace and ease is to become a BIGGER person. (How? Live your ideals!!)8Quit Comparing Yourself. Emerson tells us “Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide.” To be envious of someone else is to be ignorant of the best within us. And, to imitate? Well, that’s destroying the best within us. We want to celebrate our uniqueness. Own our quirks and our dreams as we create rather than compete.  Science says: Happy people don’t spend a whole lot time comparing themselves to others. When they think of others, it’s usually to appreciate them. Let’s do that.9Quit Overthinking Another science says: Rumination is TOXIC. When you’re in a bad mood, the *worst* thing you can do is ruminate–running the negative thoughts thru your mind again and again and again. It’s much better to do *anything* else–go for a walk, workout, play with your kids, watch some TV (just not tooooo much). Stop the negative monologue and overthinking. And, it’s always best to DO SOMETHING constructive in the face of the challenges. My favorite question (thanks David Reynolds): Now what needs to be done? The next time you’re overthinking, see if you can pause, ask yourself “Now what needs to be done?” and then go do it! 10Practice, Practice, Practice. “All that is required to become an optimist is to have the goal and to practice it. The more you rehearse optimistic thoughts, the more ‘natural’ and ‘ingrained’ they will become. With time they will be part of you, and you will have made yourself into an altogether different person.” – Sonja LyubomirskyNow, all of these ideas are nice, but if we don’t PRACTICE them they’re useless. We can’t expect to try them out once in a while and get results. That’s kinda like Ben Stiller’s character in Zoolander who goes into the coal mine, works for 5 minutes and then comes out thinking he has black lung. Uh, yah. We need to work diligently, patiently and persistently at *anything* we want to master and there’s nothing more important to master than our minds. Buddha tells us that little by little a person becomes good just as a water pot is filled with water. We need to add little drops day in and day out and as we do that, our water pots will be brimming with joy and happiness and mojo and all things good. Exercises:   1.Gratitude journal. Write down 5 things you’re grateful for. Really feel into it. Do that once a week and watch your happiness soar.2.Practice choosing a more empowered response! Can you think of an incident over the last 72 hours when you might have gotten a little more stressed than useful? How could you have responded differently? Think about that and practice this week!  3.Play the equanimity game! Find yourself off balance? See how fast you can get back on balance. Take a deep breath, notice your thoughts and get your mind balanced!4.Are you facing any challenges in your life right now? What’s the silver lining? What lesson or benefit might be hidden in the challenge?5.What was your favorite Big Idea? How can you start practicing it in your life starting TODAY?